Making Ordinary Moments EXTRAordinary- new book available!
“And now [brethren], (INSERT MY KIDS’ NAMES) I commit you to God [I deposit you in His charge, entrusting you to His protection and care]. And I commend you to the Word of His grace [to the commands and counsels and promises of His unmerited favor]. It is able to build you up and to give you [your rightful] inheritance among all God’s set-apart ones (those consecrated, purified, and transformed of soul).” In Jesus name (Acts 20:32 AMPC)
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Praying this verse daily changed my life. The gift of entrusting into God’s care is life-changing. When we entrust our kids into His care, we can take a deep breath and realize God is in control, for He loves our kids even more than we do. Most importantly, entrusting takes the pressure off of us to try to parent perfectly. As parents, we want to get it right! To raise kids that thrive, live out their faith, and give life to the world around them. However our desire “to get it right” can fill our lives with stress, worry, thus stealing moments that could be lived EXTRAordinary!
December’s Temptation to Worry Story:
When Owin (age 20) and four friends decided to drive out west before Christmas, so many mom worries arose. For a storm hit as they drove across the country through the night, not to mention potentially dangerous planned adventures... I knew he had bought ice spikes for his boots to hike one of the most dangerous hikes in America. I should not have googled Angel’s Landing, which is breathtakingly beautiful and terrifying. Leading up to this trip, I wanted to live in a swirl of worry. The older my kids get, this truth hits even harder, “I have no control!” My son was on the other side of the country, the weather was scary... I almost dropped the phone, when he facetimed me from the top of Angels Landing, I just wanted to cry, I could see slippery, icy, 1500 feet drops, yet wow he was having the adventure of his life, connecting with God in amazing ways. I managed to say: “So fun, I am so excited for you, and I love you, be careful.”
I knew the next few hours he would hike down in the ice...Fear washed over me and I called a friend to pray, to entrust, to ask God to keep Os (and his 4 four friends) “feet from slipping.” (Psalms 91) “God, I entrust Owin into Your care, Your protection...I choose to give You my fears. In Jesus name”
I must have prayed that prayer 100 times until he sent me a text message, “Hi mom, we finished the hike.” The truth is I didn’t want my fears to ruin all the fun of December with Dan and our four kids at home, for living consumed with thoughts of fear and worry could steal the best version of me if I let it.
Most of us (parents) worry!
Everyday with 5 kids of different ages and stages, I am tempted to worry about Eben (age 16) driving, Addi off at college, JohnE’s middle school stuff, Anden’s perfectionism, Owin’s adventures... The choice to worry or entrust confronts me daily.
We might call worry something different like protection or being cautious. Yet that thought that swirls in our mind and tempts us to be anxious: This is worry.
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For many of us, worry may be a habit and even a way of thinking. And until something or someone uncovers our anxious thoughts, we can continue to live in the swirl of hows, what ifs...trying to protect or prevent...
Parenting worry can feel normal at every stage. Yet worry can drive us, control us, affect our mood and reactions.
At every stage we can worry, thus adding in a worry from the last stage:
In infancy, we worry about how our baby is sleeping and are they eating enough...
In toddler years, we wonder and google search to see if our child is progressing on target: walking, eating, speaking.
In preschool, we worry about getting the right teacher or fear our child could get sick In elementary school, we worry about school and is our child gifted or behind?
At some point, performance worry can creep in. In regard to music, drama, or sports, we wonder, “Can my child keep up with the team that they want to play on, can my child perform at this level, have I prepared them...?” We can stress about their success or failure.
*Sports and performance worry can negatively affect our own mood after a game, match, show, and recital...
In middle school, we worry about their self- esteem and their friendships.
In high school, we worry about their choices, their circle of influence, GPA...Will they drive safe? What college will they go to and we wonder if our child will get a scholarship?
In college, we wonder, is my teen ready? Did I prepare them to fly? Will my young adult make wise choices in school, life, relationships....
Under every one of these worries, if we look deeper, we wonder, am I equipped to parent this child or teen? Did I do enough in every area to prepare my child or teen spiritually, mentally, relationally, academically, ethically, financially...?
We can trust God handpicked us to parent the children He gave us. He will give us the wisdom, strength, discernment, tenderness, discipline, and unconditionally love and grace..we need.
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However, if allowed and with stealth, all this worry can steal the best version of ourselves. Thus leaving our kids with an overly cautious, anxious, nagging, stressful, strict...version of ourselves that if we look in the mirror we don’t enjoy this version of ourselves either...
WHAT IF:
We give God each concern, every one of our worries, the things that swirl in our minds? In giving Him each concern, would you and I be able to give a tender, strong, wise, fun, secure, faith-based version of ourselves to those we love the most?
When all our kids were under age 12, Dan told me that the worried anxious version of myself was not much fun to be around. This truth wasn’t fun! I remember when God revealed to me how much I worried and I asked Him, “If I am not worried, what am I supposed to think about?” Worry was my habit!
Thought by thought, worry by worry, prayer by prayer...I started changing. We don’t have to live controlled by worry, anxiety, fears...However, if you read my mind you would see that worry tempts me, yet I know worry will steal the version of me that my kids and Dan enjoy being with, so I must choose to ENTRUST. And ENTRUST AGAIN. And ENTRUST AGAIN...
What if EVERY single parenting worry became a prayer? I call this the Holy Exchange. Our worry in exchange for His peace. (Philippians 4:4-8)
We can pray:
God, I give You every worry (the list) and in exchange accept Your peace, the peace You promise. “And now [brethren], (INSERT MY KIDS’ NAMES) I commit you to God [I deposit you in His charge, entrusting you to His protection and care]. And I commend you to the Word of His grace [to the commands and counsels and promises of His unmerited favor]. It is able to build you up and to give you [your rightful] inheritance among all God’s set-apart ones (those consecrated, purified, and transformed of soul).” In Jesus name (Acts 20:32 AMPC)
We can spend 2023 praying and entrusting instead of worrying and fretting. Daily and throughout the day, we can choose to give God all of the things on our mind concerning each child. To start the day right each morning, we can say the verse above and give God our list. This practice takes me about 2 minutes a day for each child/teen. If you are distracted or scattered like me, it helps to set a timer for 2 minutes and pray specifics for each member of my family. We might not see our prayers answered immediately, yet we will personally experience life-change and enjoy an inexpressible peace that God promises as we entrust our children (and our spouse) into His care.
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Many Blessings on your 2023!
Becca
My Why: Sharing Him, for His love captures, rescues, transforms, engulfs...
Becca Gunyon, MCC -director of The Way Counseling since 2000 (loving life as a wife, mom of 5, pastoral student counselor/ parent coach), author of The Treasure, Choose Life to the Fullest series, Journey to His Heart
Parenting Workshop available & videos see beccagunyon.com
@parentingmomentbymoment @chooselifetothefullest FB - beccaowingsgunyon- writer
NEW BOOK:
Making Ordinary Moments EXTRAordinary Workbook available beccagunyon.com and AMAZON
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